Echoes Behind The Rib Cage (Reflections for Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month)
Hi folks! It’s been a minute—but that’s life for you. Let’s get straight to the title. Your heart sits behind your rib cage. A quick anatomy refresher for those who’ve forgotten or couldn’t care less. 🧠
So why this topic? I’d love to say it’s because I knew it was Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. Truthfully, I only found out a week and a half ago. Let’s jump in—and hopefully, this strikes a chord with someone.
Part of my journey of healing and transformation is understanding that while these two processes are occurring, I will have to, for a time, wrestle with the vision of my life I had before and the one I am building and walking in today. For example, there are some things that are not triggering. As much as I love kids, seeing them isn’t one. Perhaps its because I’ve always loved kids and understood whether I adopted one, or had one through your conventional methods, I was going to have one.
But then there are moments—painful ones.
Most people who know me know I love dogs. The lazier the better. But I also have moments where seeing a dog also serves as a trigger to thinking of the life I once saw for myself. Or even that there’s only one specific brand of cider I like but haven’t been able to purchase because it is a trigger. Why do I share this? It’s not that I will never get a dog or that I’ll never consume that cider again (although I’m not 100% sure on the cider), but it’s that if I fail to acknowledge it for what it is I will live in contradiction. Then acting contrary to that reality is detrimental. I must address it for what it is and work towards healing as opposed to “thugging it out”. In scripture, the heart isn’t simply the organ in your chest but something more nuanced and complex. My hope is that whoever reads this sees how necessary it is to honestly assess what’s happening in your heart and commit to the journey of healing.
Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV)- 'Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.'
I’ve heard this verse a million times. So, your heart is important—cool. But what’s it really saying?
Dr. Megan Fate Marshman gives a great visual in her conversation with Preston Morrison “The Pathway to Heart Transformation” (search it on YouTube). Cliff notes? Your heart is the source of the fruits of your life. What’s in you is what you produce.
Before I go further, I need to say something. I understand mental health is kind of trendy now. And unfortunately, I’ve been on the wrong side of that trend. Way before I came to Christ, I claimed suicidal ideation in situations just to get what I wanted. I even went through the motions of therapy without any truth in it. It was manipulation—plain and simple. This isn’t to say everyone who talks about their struggles is being deceptive — far from it. But I know firsthand how easily the language of pain can be co-opted to be deployed for selfish gain at the expense of truth.
It’s sad—not only that people like myself have used it that way—but also that it will continue to be used in that way. On one hand, because of the people who have been and will be deceived; on the other, because of a failure to perceive the destruction it brings upon the deceiver by doing so. Eventually, the things I used as leverage started to manifest for real. I had to deal with what I had pretended to feel. When scripture says life and death is in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), it speaks truth.
Matthew 6:21 (NKJV)- 'For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.'
Let’s take this verse for a moment in relation to the previous. What we value—where we invest ourselves—is where our hearts truly live. It sounds simple. But if only life were that simple. One of our biggest flaws as humans is mistaking intellect for wholeness. Stay with me.
When we say we’re “speaking from the heart,” a lot of times we’re actually speaking from the mind — drawing from what we know, what we think is appropriate, what the situation demands. And that might seem fine… until you realize: the heart isn’t silent. If indeed the issues of life spring from your heart (Proverbs 4:23) then if you aren’t constantly aware of what is going on, your intellect and your heart will drift apart.
I’ve got a friend who can be a little vulgar. He’s honestly tame compared to me back in the day—but that’s not a badge of honor. Sometimes we’re chatting and I can tell he’s trying to keep his language clean. I’ve never asked him to—it’s just something he does. For a while, he’s managing. But then the right distraction comes along, and boom — a flurry of expletives slips out. Now this isn’t a pitchfork-and-torches thing for people who swear — pump the brakes. It’s not about the language itself—it’s about how the heart reveals what’s truly inside, especially when your intellect loses grip.
A few years ago, I was drunk and apparently said my life felt empty and purposeless—even though I was walking around like I had it all together. I didn’t even remember saying it. Someone reminded me just last year. The heart is going to get a say — one way or another. The question is are you going to cooperate with it or is it going to have to punch through?
Luke 6:45 (NKJV)- 'A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.'
You can't produce anything that isn’t already in you. That’s why though the gospel is to bring forth healing and freedom, it cannot be actualized in the absence of pain and suffering. Because those things reveal what’s hidden with the goal that we are transformed into a something better. Much better. Something that is healed from certain traumas but also free from their influence in our lives. But the act of uncovering the heart is a partnership.
Job 23:10 (NKJV)- But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.
Even if you choose to “take God out of the equation”, what good is identifying that you have an issue with anger, if you can never bring it into the light for healing? We weren’t made to be self sufficient. Our obsession with smartphones and social media points to that. Failing to be transparent about what’s surfacing in your heart — whether triggered by hardship or success — all for the sake of “being strong” is a losing strategy in this game of life. Self sabotage. I will die on this hill: True strength is in pulling down walls, not putting them up. Everyone I’ve seen live behind a wall eventually gets crushed by it. Me included.
Side note: There is a difference between implementing safeguards and putting up walls. I intend to discuss this in a later post.
I’m not sure if I’ve used the phrase “dig deep” already but life requires this of us. The phrase “where your treasure is” can feel vague or innocent. But in real life, the things we treasure aren't always good. That’s a blind spot we all share.
Take for example—someone career-oriented. On the surface, it looks healthy. But I may not realize that what I’ve really treasured is the feeling of inadequacy. I’ve just buried it under ambition. So I use my career, status, earning potential, to try and fill that void. That’s dangerous.
And here’s one of many possible deeper issues: when your value is tied to status and success, this becomes how you actually view other people. I mean we see this all the time with politics, cultures, etc. And if one is being honest, depending on the circumstances of your upbringing, that will change the way you view the people who’ve loved you before you ever became what you are today. This is a problem.
Where we set our affections—where we root ourselves—it doesn’t just impact us. It shapes the world we build around us. Our relationships. Our compassion. Our capacity to love.
There’s so much more that could be said here. But for now, the goal is simple: pay attention to your heart. Like, really pay attention.
Whether you identify as Buddhist, Atheist, Muslim, whatever ….
And then instead of building walls, learn to name what you’re trying to protect and determine if it’s worth guarding (news flash: the answer is always no). Then shine light on it—with a friend, a therapist, a trusted voice. God never intended for us to do life alone!
Genesis 2:18 (NKJV)- '“It is not good that man should be alone…”
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