Weight Bearing
Back again! Hope the reader was blessed by the previous post. This post is focused on weight bearing in a relational way. Pray this speaks to someone as well! With that being said let’s get to lifting!
Of all the titles I’ve carried in my life, friend feels like the one I’ve worn most consistently. So when God put this particular topic on my heart, it centered on how we show up for others—what it means to be weight-bearing. The gif above is sort of funny because the dog is actually adding resistance. It’s cute, sure, but also strangely revealing. Sometimes, in our attempts to help, we unintentionally become part of the weight others are trying to carry. That’s a very human flaw—and one worth sitting with.
1 Corinthians 8:9 (NIV)- 'Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. '
In a culture that champions individual freedom, it’s easy to overlook how often we exercise our rights at someone else’s expense. The question, then, isn’t if we do this—it’s why we fail to see it.
I think back to my younger years—nights when friends were dealing with breakups, family loss, failed exams. The go-to solutions? Get drunk. Play NBA 2K for hours. Anything to take the edge off. But in hindsight, I’m not just reflecting on their struggles—I’m thinking about who I was in the midst of their pain.
The term “weight-bearing” doesn’t imply ease—it suggests strain, pressure, discomfort. But here’s the issue: we’re often only willing to help bear someone’s burden if it fits neatly within our comfort zones. If it doesn’t disrupt our schedule. If it doesn’t cost too much emotionally. If it doesn’t confront our own shortcomings.
John 15:13 (AMP) 'No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends. '
I used to read this verse and immediately think of dramatic sacrifice—jumping in front of a bullet, laying down your life in some heroic act.
But the further I travel in my walk, the more I realize it’s also about the daily, quiet choices. Laying down your time. Laying down your pride. Laying down your need to be right. Choosing presence over convenience.
Over the past five years, many of my good friends have had children. And being in the healthcare field, I understand—at least scientifically—just how intense the hormonal shifts are during pregnancy. Of course, nothing compares to actually going through it, but it’s staggering how different a woman’s body becomes almost immediately.
Take the hormone hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin), for example. It's present in tiny amounts in non-pregnant women, but once pregnancy begins, it skyrockets after implantation, peaking around 8–11 weeks. That shift affects everything—bowel habits, energy levels, nausea, vomiting, etc. These might sound like small annoyances, but they can drastically affect day-to-day life. Many medications that would help are off-limits due to fetal harm risk. Even something like nausea can escalate into hyperemesis gravidarum, a serious condition that can threaten both mother and baby.
(Side note: LOL—this might be the first time science was wedged into one of these. My bad; this ain’t PubMed. But it’s kind of a nice reminder of living a life where science and faith are in harmony rather than at odds.)
So why mention this? Because as a friend, when you have male friends who are struggling to understand their significant other during this time, I feel called to be more than just an ear. Yes, venting helps—but only to a point. Unchecked venting often creates space for quiet resentment. And what starts as harmless complaints can turn into deep misunderstandings and emotional distance.
That’s where truth comes in. There’s a big difference between telling someone to “suck it up” and helping them see that their partner is facing something biologically and emotionally overwhelming—something they WILL never fully comprehend, but still need to respond to with grace, patience, and empathy (at least one can try here 😓).
From my experience, literally nothing about this is comfortable. Nor should it be. But again—friendship is weight-bearing. It is easy to indulge, but if I truly have a deep love for someone, then my goal isn’t that they are good now, but that they will be good in the future. Trading the instant feel-good for the long-term benefit.
A reminder that this is a conversation about every type of relationship—not just friendships. I want to reference a story from the Bible about King Saul, the anointed King David, and Saul’s son and David’s best friend, Jonathan.
1 Samuel 19: 2 (NASB1995)- So Jonathan told David saying, “Saul my father is seeking to put you to death. Now therefore, please be on guard in the morning, and stay in a secret place and hide yourself.”
1 Samuel 19: 4 (NASB1995)- Then Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “Do not let the king sin against his servant David, since he has not sinned against you, and since his deeds have been beneficial to you.”
Jonathan had a hard position. On one side: his father, the king. On the other: David, God’s anointed. Jonathan bore the weight of two covenants—his duty to his father and his loyalty to his friend.
On one hand, Jonathan faced the uncomfortable task of challenging his father’s decision—one rooted in anger and rage. On the other hand, he had the task of protecting David and honoring God, which potentially came at the risk of his own life. Jonathan didn’t just try to prevent his father from taking David’s life—he also gave David a way of escape in case the civil attempt failed.
And that makes me wonder—how often do we stop at advice? How many times do we indulge a loved one’s emotional spiral rather than lovingly challenge it? Indulgence often disguises itself as support, when in reality, it adds weight to a burden that’s already heavy. Jonathan’s friendship with David was costly—as was his relationship with his father. And sometimes ours should be too.
I believe that every relationship we encounter is meant to entail some degree of weight-bearing—even those with enemies. Enemies in the sense that people hate us. Would be kind of silly to be having this conversation with a kill list. Never that.
The burden of an enemy is hatred. So when Jesus talks about relationships with enemies in Matthew 5, he calls us to be non-retaliatory. If someone, out of a heart of hatred, places a demand upon you—carry out the demand and more. And even after all that, you release prayers of blessings over their lives regularly. Logically, someone might say this sounds insane. But the reality is, repaying hatred with hatred is simply picking up an entirely separate burden of hatred for yourself. The quicker you are able to actualize this truth, the less illogical Jesus’ words sound.
In closing, they say nothing good comes easy. I’d argue nothing lasting does. We talk a lot about love, but rarely the parts that cost us. The awkward check-ins. The consistent good mornings to strangers. The moments where showing up is uncomfortable.
This isn’t just a post about bearing weight. It’s a call to become a weight bearer. Because if it catches on, maybe the people around you won’t just feel lighter—they’ll be better.
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